


there’s blood on my hands.

by feyre_darling



Category: The Naturals - Jennifer Lynn Barnes
Genre: #somethingsmall #dean being sad #post book 4 #cassieanddean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, jennifer lynn Barnes, the naturals, the naturals book four
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 12:52:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19464400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feyre_darling/pseuds/feyre_darling
Summary: she’s crying, and you’re crying too, and you want to tell her it’s going to be okay but you can’tpost Naturals book 4 oneshot.





	there’s blood on my hands.

**Author's Note:**

> all rights go to jennifer lynn barnes for creating this incredible book series that really messes with my feels 
> 
> {some strong swearing}
> 
> just a small dean pov. someone hug him for me pls? and cassie too, thanks.

you don’t remember much of the ride home. 

the whole things passes in a blur, the ringing of sirens and flashing lights surrounding the car leaving your ears ringing and head pounding like a drum. she’s gone quiet, too quiet, and when they pull her out of the car and towards the hospital you can’t help yourself from running after her because she looks so lost, so fucking lost and afraid and all you want to do is wrap her up in your arms and make it all go away. 

but there are hands on you, grabbing you, pulling you back and you can see her in front of you screaming and sobbing and clawing at the arms restraining her. when you manage to pull away, you’re running sort of in slow motion, running and running until she’s there and your arms are around her and she’s fisting the back of your shirt in her hand and sobbing into your shoulder. 

she’s crying, and you’re crying too, and you want to tell her it’s going to be okay but you can’t,

you just can’t because you know damn well that it won’t be, that things like this won’t just go away. all these people who say things happen for a reason are so fucking wrong because they don’t understand, they don’t understand any of it, and neither do you, not really, because you can’t figure out why it had to happen to her and not you and 

why couldn’t it have just happened to you instead

why did it have to happen to her, the girl who was so bright and warm and real and the only good thing that mattered in this whole goddamn shitty world.

you don’t know what to do and everything is falling apart and you don’t know if you can ever put it back together because, to be honest, you can’t even fix yourself.

you’re so broken, so utterly fucked up and she doesn’t deserve you, she deserves someone who knows how to fix it all

you just want to fix it all, but you can’t.

you want to know how to stop the pain and the fear and the terror you know she feels but you don’t know how to

you don’t even realise you’ve passed out until you wake up and it’s so dark, and you think you might throw up because you remember, you remember it all from yesterday. you see her, dark red hair splayed out on the pillow in the bed next to you, and suddenly you feel so fucking stupid, she’s the one who should be grieving, not you,  
you’re the one who should be there for her and not act like a goddamn idiot when she needs you 

she needs you, she needs you to be there for her but you’re so scared and you really don’t know what to do

but she sees you - her eyes are open and bloodshot and she’s crying but she’s awake and looking at you like you’re the only thing that’s keeping her alive, like she needs you.

she’s looking at you, and she needs you. 

all it takes is for her to crawl over onto your bed and bury herself in your arms and suddenly you know it’s going to be okay. 

it’s going to be hard, but you know it’s going to be okay,

and when she asks if you’re okay, if you’re hurt, you almost laugh because of course she would ask that, of course she would care for you even now because that’s who she is and you love her, you fucking love her and it’s breaking you into tiny little pieces and you don’t even care 

when you kiss, it’s like nothings real and it’s just you and her in that tiny hospital room with the monitors beeping in the background, and you’re telling her it’s going to be okay because for the first time in your life,

maybe it might be.

**Author's Note:**

> a short pov from dean at the end of the 4th book. very short and all over the place, but i had an idea and needed to write it out.
> 
>   
> love dean and cassie with all my <3 and will never forget them.
> 
>   
> kudos/ comments appreciated! x


End file.
